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Maude12T01

Humans are only fully self-conscious when arguing with one another.

Thomas Fuller relates that "in Merionethshire, in Wales, there are high mountains, whose hanging tops come so close together that shepherds on the tops of several hills may audibly talk together, yet will it be a day's journey for their bodies to meet, so vast is the hollowness of the valleys betwixt them." As much may be said in a moral sense of our intercourse in the plains, for, though we may audibly converse together, yet is there so vast a gulf of hollowness between that we are actually many days' journey from a veritable communication.

The three gates of speech

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates.

Rapoport's First Rule: You should attempt to re-express your target's position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says: "Thanks, I wish I'd thought of putting it that way".

On this account have we two ears and but one mouth, that we may hear more, and speak less.

Arguments

●●●●●High-level generatorsDisagreements that remain when everyone understands exactly what's being argued, and agrees on what all the evidence says, but have vague and hard-to-define reasons for disagreeing.
●●●●○OperationalizingWhere both parties understand they're in a cooperative effort to fix exactly what they're arguing about.
●●●○○Survey of evidenceNot trying to devastate the other person with a mountain of facts and start looking at the studies and arguments on both sides and figuring out what kind of complex picture they paint.
●●●○○Disputing definitionsArgument hinges on the meaning of words, or whether something counts as a member of a category or not.
●●○○○Single StudiesBetter than scattered facts, proving they at least looked into the issue formally.
●●○○○Demands for rigorAttempts to demand that an opposing argument be held to such strict standards that nothing could possibly clear the bar.
●○○○○Single FactsOne fact, which admittedly does support their argument, but presented as if it solves the debate in and of itself.
●○○○○GotchasShort claims that purport to be devastating proof that one side can't possibly be right.
○○○○○Social shamingA demand for listeners to place someone outside the boundary of whom deserve to be heard.
A leader is best when people barely know they exists, when their work is done, their aim fulfilled, people will say: we did it ourselves. 老子(Lao Tse), 道德經(Dao De Jing)

Responses

●●●●●●Central pointCommit to refute explicitly the central point.
●●●●●○RefutationArgue a conflicting passage, explain why it's mistaken.
●●●●○○CounterargumentContradict with added reasoning or evidence.
●●●○○○ContradictionState the opposing case, what.
●●○○○○Responding to ToneResponding to the author's tone, how.
●○○○○○Ad HominemAttacking the author directly, who.
How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely. Kevin Kelly

The first principle of Wikipedia etiquette has been said to be Assume Good Faith.

Bad FaithGood Faith
Answer Jumping into a conversation with endless unapplicable, unrealistic or unrelated answers to the question. A clear and honest response to the central point of a question without an aggressive attempt to convince.
Question Asking questions containing incriminating assumptions that the questioned appear to admit to if they answer. Spouting accusations while hiding behind the claim of just asking questions. A question asked with the intention to be fair, open, and honest, regardless of the outcome of the interaction.

Social rules are expected to be broken from time to time, in that regard they are different from a code of conduct.

Reactions

Discussion●●●●●ReleaseInitiating a discussion on the lessons learnt from a project.
●●●●○UpdatePresenting the recent development of a personal experience, ongoing event or work in progress.
●●●○○SoapboxSpontaneous and or enthusiastic posts about a general topic of interest or finding.
Low-Effort●●○○○RantVenting frustration publicly without explicitly looking to have a conversation about the matter.
●○○○○ShitpostAggressively or ironically looking for the biggest reaction with the least effort possible. Includes subtoots and vague-posting.

Emotional Reaction

SeductionYou are led to feel that the fulfillment of your dreams depends on your doing what the other is encouraging you to do.
AlignmentThe interests of the system are presented as fulfilling your emotional needs. You are led to feel that your survival, your viability in society or your very identity depends on your doing what the other is requiring of you.
ReductionComplex subjects are reduced to a single, emotionally charged issue.
PolarizationIssues are presented in such a way that you are either right or wrong. You are told that any dialogue between different perspectives is suspect, dangerous or simply not permissible.
MarginalizationYou are made to feel that your own interests (or interests that run counter to the interests of the other) are inconsequential.
FramingThe terms of a debate are set so that issues that threaten the system cannot be articulated or discussed. You are led to ignore aspects of the issue that may be vitally important to your own interests but are contrary to the interests of the other that is seeking to make you act in their interests.

Beliefs

The inferno of the living is not something that will be; if there is one, it is what is already here, the inferno where we live every day, that we form by being together. There are two ways to escape suffering it:

Invisible Cities, Italo Calvino

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